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Two Summer Nights, Ten Days Apart

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1 In the dark we lay, in hammocks, wine tables at hand, each with a full glass; watching Perseid meteors, arrows of red-gold in Milky Way foam. Laugh, loudly, forgetting it is midnight. Ability to be delighted: this too we are grateful for. Arrows or eels, foam or powder - how a thing is seen, always debatable. Glass half full or half empty? Refillable! We shout, forgetting time has crept past midnight. 2 Storm winds galvanise clouds. In the day, sun pierced each break; the escapees had dropped rain, heavy pocketfuls, like stolen scree. Roses, grown tall, lash at porch glass. Windows have their latches tested. Roofs are pried. Too warm, to have everything shut. We would gape, separated from moving air. It is beyond vantage here - but we feel it, keening - the weight of the wild sea.

Coruscation

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Rivers run slick with it. Cut fields hewn from it. Bared skin, too, holds a shine of sun. Into this time slot, to her own unhurried schedule, Grandchild 5 makes an appearance. Pink-gold, cute as a vintage tea cup. She slumbers under day’s fine light, wakes in the dark. Grandchild 3 ponders sisterhood. She observes that babies make parents tired. Could they could be responsible for rain that cancels a trip to the park? Still, she deigns to kiss the infant on her forehead, an experiment in early love. ‘Granma,’ she whispers, ‘look - I’ve got jewellery.’ She shows each amulet on her new anklet. How the star shape has a sparkle in the centre of it. Her very own sparkle. Granma agrees it is beautiful. The gleam of it. How it is crafted. 

Restoration

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Low and hot, the weather was affecting us. We thought in deficits, in morbid fractals. Lost, we retraced an old path: we went to the beach, of course. Trod ourselves over the flat stones, the fine sand, dumped our bags down, set the dogs free. Dog will plunge in, we know. Fat Beagle will wade to his ample waist and stare out while we decipher his expression: something at once dignified and put-upon, satisfied and wary. A rare piece of sea glass is discovered, green, the best kind. Into a bag pocket it is hoarded. Our possessions left below the tide line for the tide is far away and still pulling back. The sea must be clambered to, and swimming is hilarious, for one can only slither between the rounded rocks, and laugh, and our laughing is sea spray, is wings in flight, is sunlight on facets of wave. Up to his waist Fat Beagle stands. Dog runs so much she lames a leg. Our hot car smells like seaweed and dog farts. The journey home is gladly broken. Now we sit eating chip

Hot Evening, After The Beach

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At midnight still butter pools in its dish. Dog rouses for a drink, pads back towards her bed, lies on the floor, sighs defeat. Ice chinks in nettle beer. The clouds have swallowed a full moon, and nothing cools in digestion. We lie like butter in our salt puddles, dream of emerging, evolved. For now, like Dog, we surrender. Pad, pad, slowly to our beds. Sand is welded to our soles. Close eyes, recall that push, that cooling incoming tide. Dog twitches in her sleep. Mr hums a snore. There’s no sleep here for me. Downstairs, where the windows are left open, a freed moon shines.

Five Days And One Night In A Dowdy Summer

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Where clouds are rift, blue shows. Rain holds. Air holds damp, birdsong, scents of earth. Palette of the day, silver-greys, green, dots of bright flower. A heart is prised open, this beauty stuffed in. Seeking remedy, not respite. Yesterday was sun and rain. Foxgloves, bolt upright, held their colour. I stole a rose to make tea; first to breathe the steam, then to sip. I had coffee, rich and deep. I had banana tea, sweet and cheerful. This morning the sky is variant silver. Coffee brews. Wild strawberry pancakes on the hob; one gets burnt when Dog gives chase to a cat and must be herself chased back inside perimeters. Dog feels sorry for herself, confined. We pretend stern. Petal frail, she sends apologies: I can’t do anything, she says. But you’ve done it all, we say, it’s our turn now and that’s how it comes to balance. Granma Grace smiles. I like her without the dentures, somehow, it represents her being her, no matter what is reduced; that kind spirit being irr

Spellbinding

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Four shifts at my new job completed. That’s 96 hours, I am surprised to calculate. Twice as many as planned but there’s a staffing crisis, and therefore an opportunity to redress our finances. I have a list of things we should buy - we aren’t up to making our own power tools just yet, for example. Mr has been minding the garden. I come back to it delighted. Beans grow, cauliflowers fight slugs, nasturtiums flow: stories, progress, magic. Air shimmers, heavy with birdsong, with imminent rain. I take up a spade to clear the edge of the compost bins. Bindweed and nettles encroach, they hardly need compost to boost growth rates. It is glorious to be outside. Tenderly, pull grasses back from the old cat’s grave, which lies just behind the footings of our composting space. Tiny pink stems in my hand - as though a new cat is growing - one feels a kind of awe, otherworldly, and laughing at the thought, simultaneously. The last roots are scraped back as rain falls. Bird no

Summer Is Icumen In

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Warm and dry the wind blows.  Wake up with bedcovers kicked to the floor. It’s warm but we’re unpractised, we’re too hot. Dog stretches out like she’s trying to evaporate.   Our plan is - work in the garden till sweat stings our eyes, then head to the beach for a swim.  Have we swum in the sea this year yet? It seems not!  (I have barely blogged this year too - it is the year of the hard editing, of print and production!) Search through tired fuzz, all we remember is hail, the strike of hail, and a rainbow. Whilst thinking, Mr cooks breakfast.  I discover misdoings of mice in the polytunnel. Some of the sweetcorn will survive, if I guard it.  The path we dug is mulched, the willow arch sprouts over it, pretty sprigs, tenacious wood.  Fruit trees flower, fed on compost tea. Beans newly planted at the base of bamboo arches are wind thrashed, happy.  Rows of onion leaf tassel twirl.  Breakfast is ready. We eat at the old pallet picnic table, laughing, minding the

Adventures In Time And Weather

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Knots in my shoulders, spots before my eyes, I know not day from night, I cradle my coffee with obligated love.  Oh my gods, do look at this house! There's a family in here somewhere... After the feverish edits, I have pushed the publish button, I am done with it! Except for that last convalescent push, where you need to inform people that you have published a book, and wonder if they would care to part with money in order to read it.  Least favourite bit, the sales pitch, which is either because I am monstrous enough to believe that readers should all ready be queuing up, or because it feels like begging; either way, pride is the obstacle.  I will go outside now, get some gardening done, reflect on nurturing seeds. Here are some links for buying paperbacks - ebook edits are to be resumed when dark falls and coffee supplies are in... UK:  Adventures In Time And Weather USA: Adventures In Time And Weather

Write Life

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Widemouth North, a rainbow before the hail struck. Dartmoor, with snow, ponies, and Mr, before the sun melted all the cloud away. As this year began we were not entirely baffled to discover it had not brought a great change of fortune. We are metaphorical oligarchs still, with our big family, access to coasts and moorland with moody skies, and reasonably waterproof footwear. It's merely a matter of keeping ourselves housed that causes the trouble. So I had been filling in applications for supplementary employment. So far, no interviews pending. This is either bad fortune, or perfectly fortuitous. I don’t have to be on this edge to write, but it has a motivational role. Two books in edits, one on a slow journey, one a brisk paced unexpected arrival; one more in serious development, several being lured into existence. One children’s book part illustrated, several more of those roughly worded.  Today I have been engrossed in the beauty of the seasons, up till now, w

In Stitches: A Yule Tapestry

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The trip out had been put on hold, while the storm was belting. The sky was getting darker. It seems that nothing much will get done. Granma is in the kitchen, filling up the kettle. Grandad is looking for his phone/glasses/keys/other item: he’s on a rolling programme of searching. All four grandchildren gather in the next room, out of sight, well in sound. Grandchild 3 says, with musical clarity, ‘You get on the naughty step RIGHT NOW!’ Grandchild 1 says, with a sense of subterfuge, ’You see, that’s why I don’t like her!’ Grandchild 4 (most likely recipient of the command) simply growls. Grandchild 2 says ‘What the?!’ (She implies an expletive with a comic shrug.) Grandchild 3 appears in the kitchen, dressed in the snuggle blanket. It trails behind her, majestic and soft. ‘I’m Elsa,’ she informs. ‘Let the storm rage oooonnnnn!’ Grandchild 4 appears, drawn to stand on the trail of the blanket. ‘Lie down,’ Granma instructs, picturing a head injury.

Yule Story 2015

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The Porcupines In Winter Winter is known for being cold. That is usual. Some winters are mildly cold, and some fierce. In the forest where the porcupines lived, a new winter was beginning. The trees stood bare, all the flowers hid. This was expected. And the weather spirits came, whirling around trunks and boughs, whispering forecasts. In the forest where the porcupines lived, this was usual. This year would be the coldest yet, the weather spirits told; the coldest ever. Cold enough to freeze blood, to ice a heart mid-beat. Over and over they whispered this. Never had the weather spirits been mistaken. This winter would be extreme. Migratory birds took fright and flew. The forest animals were afraid. They grew their fur extra thick and ate as much as they could manage. But as the fierce wind blew, and the ground froze, they began to die, one by one. The porcupines called a meeting. Old Grandfather Porcupine recalled a winter that had been almost this cold, w

Out Of The Mist, With Banana And Hope Intact

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Feather Tor was the idea, but when we got to Dartmoor it was lost in the mist. So we left the car and followed along the road till we reached a leat. Even without the mist, or the windswept ponies, or the fire twisted bracken, or the stacked granite masses, this leat flows uphill, so magic is here. I have marched many people up this route, because they don’t believe until they are standing downstream and uphill and the water is still flowing. The old stone cross was our next idea, but visibility was closing in. In my bag I had an emergency banana, but far from fully kitted for any navigational errors. We followed the leat back, and the sound of the road. The wind was throwing horizontal rain. It spat through a gap in my toggled hood and drenched me. Dog was zigged and zagged by it; she wanted to get back into the dry car boot space and lie on her rug. I had to crouch and divest as many damp garments as modesty would allow. We put the heater on and sat. Reflected on magic, landsc

Goose Flight

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Involved

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Remembrance Day: I read, in those lines of names, all the fresh emotion of loss. It is easier to think of it as in the past, to fix that hurt to a time long gone; to empathise, but not be involved. This is not how it is. War has not ceased. The lines of names are not static. And, beyond this, we ourselves are not immortal. We will be leaving this world, every one of us. Loss is what our lives should seek to balance. Be grateful for this chance - be cheerful and bold and embracing and mindful. Accept yourself. The best person you can be is not the one who beats you up for not being better. Push yourself. Outside the comfort barriers, living begins. Who died for your right to shuffle in drabness, bored and unfulfilled? The dream was freedom from oppression. What would they want to tell us, the people whose names are on that list? What would they say was important? Love. The comfort of a well made sandwich. Sunsets. How Aunt Flo never forgot a birthday. A sea

Flaming November

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A Day Out Of Season

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Slept so deep I went underneath sleep, underneath dreams. I think I slipped out of the universe entirely. And woke up here. Warm as summer, the bright air full of small, noisy birds. I will peg washing out as an offering to this sun. After walking by the glass river, arms bared; home to drink coffee and eat ice cream, sat at the wobbling pallet table. The seats are damp, nobody cares. Just sit and taste the bitter-sweet. Enjoying, before winter comes, a late autumn palliative.  

The Tough Trough Tragedy: Halloween 2015

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I knew that there was something wrong. Why do we do that? We know that something is wrong but don’t want to seem silly and somehow that is more important. We do things even when there is a voice in our head shouting not to do it: fear of looking foolish overrides self preservation. I never knew till then just how strong that desire to fit in was. I am not what other people would call conventional. Got purple hair, a half sleeve tattoo of skulls and mermaids, a pierced lip. Did I listen when people said not to dye my hair or get inked or pierced? Clearly not. Did I listen when my instincts told me something was horribly wrong here? Clearly not. I was lucky, in a way. I survived, anyway. But the others didn’t and that is impossible to forget. I’m here, alive, but I’m stuck with those images for life. I lost one finger and my peace of mind. I suppose you want to hear about it. Everyone does, like it was something awesome that happened. It was different; I u

Lessons In Leaves

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Michaelmas is long gone and no one has told the blackberries up here. I wasn’t about to let on. Under stripes of cloud and sun, a fruit feast is plucked, is popped, piece by piece, in to a thirsty mouth. Cut stalks noisy under walking feet, fingers tinged purple; from fields to moors over the river, I spy out. I shall traverse this open ground, I announce, whilst the air holds dry. But into the small woods we are drawn, Dog and I; her by scent and me by leaf. Sometimes we see more, standing in shade. Structures in bright relief. Dog can easily follow the path as it tunnels under fern and bramble. I follow, stumble, trousers caught in thorny twine. No less happy - this is adventure. This is story living, story making. We become what we live, so we should live with care and abandon. In the light, to stride, to acknowledge happiness. In the shade, to know the light shines through. To be of structural interest. Leaves are falling, as we head home along our winding la

It Is Beautiful

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In the polytunnel. Draped in sun, I am sitting. Contemplating on this, sitting, listening. Absorption happens. Bird chatter, scent of damped soil warming. How the sun has dressed this lawn, in beaded rainbows. Even Dog gives in to the bliss, lolls her head on the doorframe. Yesterday was the first frost. The first new moon in the tenth month. I had stood indoors, where the sun streamed in, where it poured through an old glass bottle-stopper; the facets of it spread a party of light on the wall. I knew the physics of the trick and remained in thrall. Everything is illusion, coloured by perception. And lit, by design or accident, by this thrall. From us, through us: it matters not. Absorb, and surrender to the trick. It is beautiful.

Owl's Answers

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Yesterday I walked in the small woods. Up the steep slips of fallen leaf. Found myself under a dome of tree cover. Something about it caught my attention - the circularity, the floor of dark leaves, when the rest of the woods is strewn with fern and bramble. There was only the sighs of autumn leaves to be heard, high above. I raised my eyes, un-expectant, to where an owl was asleep. Yellow eyes opened: we stared at each other. I willed it to read my questions. I have much to ask. Time paused. Then the owl flew. I clearly heard the brisk rustle of its feathers. I had never before woken an owl. I walked out of the cut field into redemptive rain. Just before home, the rain stopped. Out of the hedge, two ripe strawberries were gathered. In the night, bad dreams came. In the morning nothing factual remains, only the fear. Had the owl answered my questions? I hoped not. I went back to the small woods. Today the sun shone, the owl was not at home. Dog sprang a deer o