|Visual metaphor for feeling crushed...|
Everyone has days, I believe, where anxiety is niggling underfoot and close to causing a fall. Perhaps it is because it is not appreciated that the anxiety returns? Maybe it is the sense of all the hostility that lingers in the world, the fragility of all you have? It is the flipside then, of appreciation: the unpleasant side of not taking life for granted.
It does not seem fair, that fatheads can live untrammelled.
Fingers tap on desk: thought occurs. To have confidence in a thing, is that to take it for granted?
I have been without lots of things; the washing machine is a good example. I have one now. It works, and I am grateful every time, for every turn of that drum. I love what I have, have no need of dissatisfaction.
Except, I don't love that anxiety. Fingers tap on desk.
When the dice are always rolling, the thrill wavers. The lack of security frustrates. I would have a haven, a place for buds to grow un-nipped, for roots to stretch. If I could. Years enough of worry have passed, they secure my attitude. I would not be spoilt if that simple place was mine.
Fingers tap on desk.
Always I am trying to push back the comfort zones, to challenge myself, to be strong, to embrace this life. To love the bubble and not fear the pop.
The things I have, I like them to be useful.
If I have these anxious moments, firstly, they are not in the comfort zone. By my own argument, this is healthy. Without that jab of discomfort would I be so pushed to find contentment?
Heavy rain again today: makes a person thoughtful.
|Kicking out of the comfort zone!|