Maybe the heat simmered up, steamed away a peaceful night. I'm not the only one to wake ill at ease. My uncertainty, I think, originates in economics, though true lines of feeling are easily blurred. There is a need for some uncertainty in life, lest one grow a skin too smug and die of it. When the balance has over-tipped; either way; to right this: a two pronged attack.
Firstly, make a list. Done: tick.
Secondly, stand in a river.
My old trainers are now my river shoes. Adidas, they are. No name on the swimsuit. Clothes in a backpack wait on a rock ledge. Dog leaps into the water, agitates mud, I can't see where to tread at all. A walk of faith: waist deep, hands trailing under the reflective surface, twitching at the sudden touch of weed, the unnerving quality of cold gloop.
'Okay, river,' the confession begins. 'I come to seek balance and peace and acknowledge that this is something only I can find for myself, within myself, so I don't know why being here helps but it does. I may be grasping at proverbial straws, I may be heat affected. I don't know. Only whatever lesson there is, I am willing to learn it.'
Dog brings me a stick, which is duly thrown, as per the implied game of fetch. I wade on, shoulder deep now, in sight of the Oak Dragon. A draft speeds over the water like the wooden idol has suddenly exhaled. Two herons take to flight, I see their grey wings spread wide.
Herons: symbols of prosperity and self made renewal.
I throw Dog's stick. 'Today,' I suggest, 'shall we be superstitious?'
One wet tail wags. I look up at the water birds.